Funny Happy New Year Wishes

• Many people await New Year’s Day to make a new start to their old habits. I wish you otherwise. Happy New Year.
• May your hair, your teeth, your face-lift, your abs and your stocks not fall, and may your blood pressure, your triglycerides, your cholesterol, your white blood count and your mortgage interest never rise.
• Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, yippee! It’s a New Year! Happy New Year, my beloved friend.
• May you get a clean health bill from your dentist, your cardiologist, your gastro-entomologist, your urologist, your proctologist, your podiatrist, your psychiatrist, your plumber and the I.R.S.
• May you remember to say, “I love you” at least once a day to your spouse, your child, your parent, and your siblings, but not to your secretary, your nurse, your masseuse, your hairdresser or your tennis instructor.